


THE AMATEUR SERIES. 



-A-ct -^^rell 3rovLr psirt.' 



HOMCEOPATHY 

Or the Family Cure. 



A FARCE. 




By J. C. TRANK 



:E>:Rxajs is oiEi^ars- 



CHICAGO: 

T. S. DENISON, 



PUBLISHER. 



NO PLAYS EXCHANGED 



THE STAR DRAMA. 

Price, FIFTEEN CTS. EACH, Postpaid. 



This series includes only plays of the hig^hcst order of merit. They arc the very 
hest before the public. These plays are rich in variety of incident, and spirited in 
action. The dramas combine tender pathos, delig-htful humor, and sparkling- wit. 
The farces are brimful of the rarest fun. 

This series is very carefully revised by an experienced editor. Each play is un- 
abridged. They are unequaled in fullness of stage directions, typography, and 
print. Every play on this list is a success. This series includes only plays suited 
to the present aay. 

AIiL.'THAT OL.1TTERS IS WOT OOIiD— A comic drama in two 

acts. Time, two hours. Six males, three females. 
CASTE.— A comedy in five acts. Time, two hours and thirty minutes. Five 

males, three females. 
EAST iilTSfWE.— A drama in five acts. Time, two hours and thirty minutes. 

Eight males, seven females. 
ERITITS OF THE WINK CUP.-A temperance drama in three .acts. 

Time fifty minutes. Six males, four females. 
HOME.— A comedy in five acts. Time, two hours. Four males, three females. 
ICI ON PARL.E FRANCAIS,— A farce. Time forty minutes. Four 

males, three females. 
IN THE WRONO HOUSE, (two T. J.'s) A farce. Time thirty minutes. 

Four males, two females. 
I'M NOT MESIIiF AT AMi,— A farce. Time, twenty-five minutes. Three 

males, two females. 
JOHN SMITH.— A farce. Time thirty-five min. Five males, three females. 
HISS IN THE DARK.— A sketch. Time thirty minutes. Three males, two 

females. 
liADV OF liYONS.— A drama in five acts. Time, two hours and forty-five 

minutes. Twelve males, four females. 
liARKINS' I.OVE IjETTERS.— A farce. Time, forty minutes. Four 

males, two females. 
liOUVA, THE PAUPER.— A drama in five acts. Time, one hour and 

forty-five minutes. Nine males, four females. 
lilMERICK BOY. (THE)- A farce. Time, forty-five minutes. Fi>re 

males, two females. 
MY WIFE'S REI.ATION8.— Comedietta. Time, one hour. Four males, 

six females. 
MY TURN NEXT.— A farce. Time forty-five min. Four males, three females. 
MY NEIi^HBOR'S WIFE.— A farce. Time forty-five minutes. Three 

males, three females. 
NOT SUCH A FOOIi AS HE liOOHS.— A farcical drama in three acts. 

Time, two hours. Five male-, four females, 
PiiRSECUTEB DUTCHMAN. (THE) —A farce. Time, fifty minutes. 

six males, three females. 
C^UIET FAMIIiY, (A)— A farce. Time, forty-five minutes. Four males, 

four females, 
REGUUAR FIX, (A)— A farce. Time, forty min. Six males, four females. 
ROUG^H DIAMOND. (THE) (Country Cousin)— A farce. Time, forty 

minutes. Four males, three females. 
SOliDIER OF FORTUNE. (A)— A comedy drama in five acts. Time, 

two hours and twenty minutes. Eight males, three females. 
SPARKUINO CUP, (THE)— A temperance play in five acts. Time, one 

hour and forty -five minutes. Twelve males, four females. 
TEN NIGHTS IN A BAR ROOM.— A temperance drama in five acts. 

Time, two hours. Twelve males, four females . 
TOODIiES, (THE)— A drama in two acts. Time, one hour and fifteen min. 

Six males, two females. 
TURN HIM OUT.— A farce. Time, forty-five min. Three males, two females. 
THE TWO PUDDIFOOTS.— A farce. Time, forty minutes. Three 

males, three females. 
UNDER THE LAUREIiS.— A drama in five acts. Time, one hour and 

forty-five minutes. Five males, four females. ;- 

T^S. DENISON, Publisher, Chicago. 

The Danger Signal, a drama in two acts, by T. S. Deni. 
son. Time, i hour, SO minutes ; 7 males, 4 females. 

Wide Enough for Two. a farce, byT. S. Denison. Time, 
50 minutes; 4 males, 2 females. 

The Jol<e on Squinim,(or the black statue), 30 minutt's ' 
males, 2 females. Negro farre, by W. B. Sheddan. 



New Plays. 



HOMCEOPATHY; 



THE FAMILY CURE. 



3f 



A FARCE IN ONE ACT, 



BY 

J. C. FRANK. 



NOV 



CHICAGO: 
T. S. DENISON, PUBLISHER. 

Copyrighted, 1884, by T. S. DENISON. 



^ / 



HOMEOPATHY. O^ 



\D 



^ 



'0 



/f 



>^ 



CAST OF CHARACTERS. 

Jerry McGillicuddy. — From the ould sod. 
Mr. Gorgibus. — Fond of Philosophy . 
Deacon Silvergrab. — In search oj a -wife. 
Adolphus Topnody. — Just married. 
Charles. — A persecuted lover. 
Susie Gorgibus. — A pretty blossom. 
Anna — {Her cousin). — Toung and lively. 
Mrs, Bangs. — Not married., but ivantsto be. 



DESCRIPTION OF SCENES. 

Scene I — A street in first grooves. 

Scene II — Parlor in Gorgibus^ house — Neatly and if possible^ ele- 
gantly furnished. Doors R. and L. Door C; ivindo-w L. C; small table 
C; chairs R. and L. 

Scene III — Sa7ne as Scene I. 

Scene IV. — Same as Scene IT. 



COSTUMES.— (Modern.) 

Time — about thirty minutes. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R, means right, the actor facing the audience; L, left; C, center; 
R C, right center, etc. 



[2] 

TMP92-009340 



HOMCEOPATHY, 



Scene I, — A Street — Jerry heard singing off R. 

I wish to St. Patrick I was back in ould Cork, 
Where we drank buttermilk, and ate extra fat pork, 
Where the praties were maily an' couldn't be bate; 
An' no tay did we drink but supper did ate. 

{Enter Jerry /?. xvith bundle and stick). 

Jerry. Blessed Saint Patrick! where am I, anyhow, I wonder. 
This Ameriky is a dale of a country, an' no blarney. Here I've been 
wanderin' about all day, since breakfast, tryin' to find me some work; 
but nary a penny have I been able to scroipe in. Bad luck to the day 
when I left the boys an' girls in ould Oireland, an' crossed the say to 
Ameriky. But faith, it's no use sighin after the ould sod, or bein' down 
In the stomach about the shwate days gone by. I'll just thravel along, 
an' perhaps some gintleman of fortune will be afther axin' me in to sup- 
per, and make me his chief cashier an' door tender. {Exit L. singing). 

I wish to St. Patrick I was back in ould Cork, 
Where we drank buttermilk an' ate extra fat pork; 
Where the girls were so pretty an' saucy an' neat. 
An' their faces so buxom, ancl their kisses so sweet. 

{Enter Charles, /?.) 

Chas. Great Scot! was ever a human being so cruelly used as I 
am ! Here an entire week has elapsed without my being able to catch a 
single glimpse of my dear Susie. Old Gorgibus watches her as closely 
as an iron safe, and won't let any one see her. I've a great mind to bum 
down the house. 

{Enter Anna, L.) 

Anna. Good morning Mr. Charles ; you are just the person I am 
looking for. 

Chas. I am glad to see you, Anna. Is there any news? 

Anna. Yes, there is really a good deal of news. In the first place, 
my uncle, Mr. Gorgibus, is determined that he will marry that horrid 
housekeeper of hi«, Mrs. Bangs. In the next place, he is equally de- 
termined that cousin Susie shall marry that miserly old Deacon Silver- 
grab; and I do believe that the wedding would have already taken place 
were it not that Susie loves you. She has confided it all to me {laughs 
playfully)^ and being reduced to extremities we have invented a little 
trick to hoodwink my uncle; and the near-sighted old fellow doesn't see 

[3] 



4 HOMCEOPATHY. 

through our scheme at all. At this moment Susie is playing sick. Her 
credulous father really believes her to be dangerously ill, and has sent me to 
get a doctor. Now Charles, if you could only send some intimate friend 
of yours to play the physician you would at least be able to get a letter 
to Susie, once or twice a day, and no doubt you will soon find a way to 
carry her off, and marry her in spite of my vmcle and old Silvergrab. 

Chas. Thank you, Anna, for the interest you manifest in Susie 
and me. But I fear it would be difficult to find a doctor who would be 
willing to risk so much for me. I really know of no one who would 
do it. 

Anna. I think there will be no trouble. Fix up any of your friends 
as a doctor — your hired man if you can find no other. It is easy to de- 
ceive my uncle, and Mrs. Bangs is still more stupid. Neither of them 
would suspect a trick. But I must hurry back to the house. Be sure 
and have that doctor up in half an hour, if you love Susie. {Exit L.) 

Chas. I do love her; but by heavens! what shall I do! Our hired 
man is a clumsy, awkward old fellow, and would spoil everything. As 
to the boys, I'm afraid to ask any of them. But something must be 
done, and that quickly. I wonder "if Billie wouldn't.? Not likely. But 
I'll ask him anyhow. {Goes L.) 

{Reenter Jerry L. stops Charles). 

Jerry, The top o'the mornin' to you, sur. Couldn't you be afther 
givin' a poor Irishman a job o'work, if you plaize, sur! 

Chas. My dear fellow, you have nearly frightened me out of my 
Avits. What is it you want.? 

Jerry. I'm a lonely Irishman widout the comforts of domestic af- 
flictions. Couldn't ye be afther helpin me to a little job o'work.? 

Chas. {aside) This is just the fellow I want, {aloud) Ah! my friend, 
I am at this moment in need of a servant; but indeed, I do not know 
what you are capable of doing. 

Jerry. Don't worry about that, sur. I can do anything. Just try 
me in a matter of business, something important, if you plaize. Send 
me to market to ax the price o'butter an' eggs, or to find out what time 
it is by the town clock, or to see which way the wind blows, or anything 
else that's difficult, I don't care what, an' I'll do the thing up to your 
intire satisfaction. Sure, I can do anything from feedin' the pigs an' 
chickens to rockin' the baby's cradle. 

Chas. Ha! ha! you are certainly quite a genius. 

Jerry. Faith, I am that, sur. When I lived In Cork wid my grand- 
father — did you iver see my grandfather.? 

Chas. I think not. 

Jerry. Indeed! then you was niver in Cork.? 

Chas. No, never. 

Jerrv. Well, now, raaly, that's surprisin', I can tell you. I knowed 
there was some folks that was niver in old Oireland, but I thought ivery- 
body had been in Cork. But no matter, when I lived in Cork wid my 
grandfather, as I said before 

Chas. Where was your father! 

Jerry. I niver had one, sur. 

Chas. That's quite impossible 



lIOMCKOi^ATHY. 5 

Jerry. I know that, but it's truth all the same. You see there Is 
exceptions to Iverything nowadays, an' I am an exception to the gineral 
rule. My mother told me I dropped down from heaven one day widout 
any warnin', an' that's all the information I iver got about it, sur. Well, 
when I lived wid my grandfather who kept a tavern in Cork, I was his 
confidential sarvant. I put out the horses, milked the cows, fed the pigs 
and geese, took care of the dog, washed the dishes, cooked the dinners, 
made the beds, scrubbed the floors, killed the cats, dressed the babies, 
kissed the girls, and did iverythi ng else that a gintleman like me could 
be expected to do. 

Chas. Ha! ha! ha! you are just the fellow I want. 

Jerry, [aside) I thought so. 

Chas. But what is your name.? 

Jerry. Jerry, Jerry McGillicudy, 

Chas. All right. Now Jerry, I'll tell you what I want; you must 
counterfeit a doctor. 

Jerry. Counterfeit a doctor! Thunder an' buttermilk! I'd niver 
be able to do that. I can tell a lie, or do anything else that's mane; but 
I niver could be a doctor. Good morning, sur. {Goes L.) 

Chas. Stop a little my friend, and I will explain. Do you see yon- 
der brick house.'* {Pointing L.) 

Jerry. The one wid the steeple.'' 

Chas. No, that's a church, the next one; well, that's where Mr. 
Gorgibus lives. 

Jerry. The d 1 he does! 

Chas. That gentleman has a very beautiful daughter with whom I 
am deeply in love. But her father wants her to marry Deaeon Silvergrab, 
and wont let me come near the house. Now old Gorgibus is as stupid as 
a mule, and we have invented a little trick to deceive him. The young 
lady is playing sick, and I want you to go to the house as doctor and 
carry her my letters. Now, Jerry, if you will help me to carry out this 
little game, I will give you twenty dollars a month. 

Jerry. Twenty dollars a month! Do you raaly mane it.? 

Chas. I repeat, you shall have twent}-- dollars a month if you will 
faithfully carry out this little scheme. 

Jerry. Ah! when it comes to twenty dollars a month, I'll not say 
I won't be a doctor — did you say board and washin' too? 

C?ias. Yes, board, washing, lodging, — everything included. 

Jerry. I'm your man — jvist give me a letter, an' I'll be off at once. 

Chas. I must write one first; besides, you will need a little fixing 
up. So follow me, we haven't a minute to lose. {Exit R.) 

Jerry, {frowning). What would my darling Kitty say if she 
knowed I was goin' to be a doctor to a purty girl that isn't sick! {Exit R.) 

{Enter Deacon Silvergrab., R.). 

Dea. {looking at watch). Bless my stars ! here it is nearly ten o'clock, 
and I haven't paid my compliments to Miss Gorgibus yet. Well, I'll go 
at once — the dear creature is so affectionately fond of me that 1 can't 
bear the thought of disappointing her a minute — I candidly believe I 
shall be obliged to discontinue my parochial duties until after the nuptials 
have been celebrated. Miss Gorgibus, and my regular philosophical 



6 HOMCEOPATHY. 

pursuits require so much of my time that I don't get anything else 
accomplished. When I married the first Mrs, Silvergrab, I didn't have 
half the fuss, and— and so forth, that I now have. But in this refined 
age, one must be thoroughly imbued v^^ith a spirit of romance, chivalry, 
and poetry ; and woo the ferninine heart according to the approved fashion 
of modern aesthetics, (ext'i L.). 

{Enter Adolphus^ /?,). 

Adoh Conglomerate my cerebellum! this matrimonial adventure 
has proved the most felicitous movement that it was ever the good for- 
tune of Adolphus Topnody to undertake. Perforate my magnanimous 
pericranium! these three weeks of married life have been the most 
delightful moments of my life. (Jooks at -watch). Conglomerate my 
cerebellum! It's an hour and twenty-two minutes "standard time" since 
I have seen my dear Sarah Jane — I'll go home to her at once. Con- 
glomerate my cerebellum! {exit L.). 

{Re-enter Charles and Jerry., R). 

Chas. Have you the letter, safe.? ^ 

Jerry, {holding up letter). I have, sur. 

Chas. Now, pray be careful, Jerry. 

Jerry. Oh, niver fear ; sure' I can kill a purty girl as asy as any other 
doctor in town. But what kind of physic must I be after givin' the 
young lady ! 

Chas. None at ali; the letter is the chief thing. But if old Gorgi- 
bus should ask any questions talk about homoeopathy — remember you are 
a homoeopathic doctor ; tell him about Plato, Socrates, and Hippocrates. 
The old fellow is a fool and will be easily blinded. 

Jerry. That means I'm to talk philosophy, politics, an' blarney 
ginerally. Niver fear but I'll get the blind side of the old man, an' doc- 
tor the young lady beautifully. 

Chas. But be very careful, or you will spoil everything, {exit R.) 

Jerry. Don't worry about that — I'll do the thing up foine. Sure, he 
don't know what a bo>^ I am fur the girls; an' as fur tellin' lies, my ould 
grandfather used to say, I could beat the very ould Nick himself So 
I'm a doctor, wid a cane an'.foine clothes. (Surveys himself) an' goin* to 
attind a young girl that hain't sick, an' git twenty dollars a month fur 
doin' the*^ job. Now, it strikes me that I am gittin' up in the world 
moighty fasht; an' I'd feel furst rate if I only knowed that my darlin' 
Kitty wouldn't kick up a row about my bein' a homoeopath-etic doctor. 
Brimstone and fire bugs! I niver can remember that wo'd. But I must 
be off as fasht as my legs can carry ine. Och! this Ameriky is a dale of 
a country an' no blarne}'. {e.xit L., singing-). 

Scene ii. A parlor in Gorgibus' house. Discovered Mrs. Bangs seated 
R. reading a novel: also Gorgibus pacing the floor). 

Gorg. My dear Mrs, Bangs, will not my daughter's sudden illness 
require the nuptials to be postponed.^ 

Mrs. B. It certainly will; the marriage cannot take place while the 
poor girl is so sick. But will it be necessary to postpone our wedding 
also.!* 



HOMOEOPATHY. 7 

Gorg. I have reflected about that, and think it would be wiser to do 
80. It would be such an apt illustration of the bonds of filial affection to 
celebrate the nuptials of father and daughter at one and the same time. 

{Enter Deacon Silver gr ah ^ R.). 

Gorg. How do you do, my dear Deacon ! How do I find you this 
morning! 

Mrs. B. Pray be seated, Mr. Silvergrab, 

Dea. {sitting Z^., and arranging collar and cravat). I am in the en- 
joyment of my customary fine health. Might I be permitted to inquire 
after yourselves? 

Mrs. B. Alas! Mr. Silvergrab, a sore affliction has befallen us all. 

Dea. (with a groan). The heavens forbid ! 

Mrs. B. It is only too true — only too true, — pray explain, Mr. Gor- 
gibus, my nerves are so sadly shaken. 

Gorg. Yes, dear Deacon, the terrible black-winged messenger of 
disease has visited the sacred precincts of this happy household. My 
daughter has been taken ill very suddenly and I fear the nuptials must 
be postponed. I have sent for the doctor. 

Dea. Oh! terrific misfortune! It rends rriy heart in twain to hear it. 

Gorg. Quite natural, quite natural. We have both of us so eagerly 
looked forward to the blessed moment when we might lead the idols of 
our hearts to the foot of the hy menial altar: and now that this misfor- 
tune has befallen us, it is really too sad to think of. 

{Enter Anna L.). 

Anna, {a^ectionatefy). My dear uncle, I bring you good news. I 
have engaged the ablest doctor in the world to attend upon cousin Susie. 
He comes from foreign lands — Hibernia, I think — and no doubt will soon 
cure poor Susie. He is a homoeopathic doctor, and is so learned {flayftdly 
and luith vivacity) that, do you know uncle, I almost wish I were sick 
myself that he might cure me. 

Gorg. My dear, dear girl! how can gratitude ever repay your kind- 
ness.'' But where is this physician.? 

Anna. He will be here in a few moments, {bell rings). Ah! he is 
ringing now — I will bring him up. {exit /?.). 

Gorg. I too must go and greet this wonderful physician, {exit R.). 

Mrs. B. What kind of a physician did she say this is.? 

Dea. He is — he is — that is, I can't at this instant recall the techni- 
cal name; but he belongs to a newly discovered sect of physicians who 
cure people not so much by the medicine they give them, as by the 
medicine they don't give them. 

{Re-enter Gor gibus R. followed by Jerry and Anna). 

Gorg. I have sent tor you, doctor, to see my daughter, who is very 
ill. 

Jerry. I am highly obliged to ye, sur. {aside). Now for some 
philosophy, {aloud). Socrates says, and Pluto proves widout a doubt that 
a person is not well when he is sick: an' Lord Pork remarks that -a per- 
son is sick when he is not enjoying good health. 

Gorg. Who says that! 



g HOMCEOPATAY. 

Jerry. Lord Pork. 

Gorg. Lord Pork ! Lord Pork ! let me reflect a 

Dea. I should judge the learned doctor refers to Lord Bacon. 

Jerry. Exactly, sur; exactly. Lord Bacon — that's the man. I got 
a troifle confused in the name. 

Gorg. Don't mention it, don't mention it; the wisest of men some- 
times fall into error. You see, doctor, Miss Gorgibus is my only daugh- 
ter and I place all confidence in you. 

, Jerry. An' well you may, Misther Gorgibus. I am not an ivery 
day kind of a doctor. I am a homoeo — (aside) oh murther ! I've ciane forgot 
what I am. {scratches his head). Ould Ireland foriver! I've got it. 
{aloud) Misther Gorgibus, I am a homoeopath-etic doctor, and am the 
greatest, wisest, and wonderfullest physician in the physical, intellectual, 
and mineral faculty. 

Gorg. I am delighted to hear it. 

Jerry. All other doctors, in my opinion, are nothin' but murtherin' 
thaving villains. I studied in the animal, vegitive, conjugal, and hy- 
menial departments, an' can cure any disease. Let me feel your pulse, 
snr. {Jeels Gorgibus' pulse). 

Mrs . B. It is his daughter that is sick, not he. 

Jerry. No matter, the blood of the father and daughter are one ; and 
by ascertaining the stale of the former we find out what ails the other. 

Mrs. B. How learned! 

Dea. What marvelous erudition ! 

Gorg. {to Anna). Go fetch my daughter, that the great doctor may 
see her. 

Anna. Yes, uncle. {Exit L.) 

Jerry. What is it that's ailin' your daughter, may I ask, sur.? 

Gorg. The poor girl has caught the heart disease, and we have 
been obliged to postpone tlie nuptials on account of her illness. 

Jerry. Now that's bad indeed. But raaly, misther Gorgibus, it 
strikes me that if the girl isgoin'tobe married you'd be overpowered wid 
joy at her havin' the heart disease. Faith, I wouldn't have a wife that 
didn't have a touch of it. 

Gorg. I beseech you, dear doctor, that you will use all your mys- 
tery to cure her. 

Jerry. Don't worry about that; sure, I can cure anything. 

{Enter Susie L. supported by Anna). 

Jerry. Is this the young lady ! {aside). Faith, I feel the heart disease 
comin' over me — ain't she a jewel.? Beats ould Oireland all to blazes! 
{aloud) Mydarlin'let me feel your pulse. {Takes her hand and gives 
her letter unobserved by the rest). The pulse tells me she has the heart 
disease. 

Mrs. B. How quickly he found it out! 

Jerry. Of course; we great doctors can tell what the matter is at 
first sight: {to Susie) My jewel, my darlin' does the pain afflict you 
much } 

Susie. Very much. 

Jerry. Where does it hurt you.? 

Susie. {Points to her hearty and sighs). 



HOjMCEOPATHY 



9 



Jerry . There, I knowed it. I hit the nail on the head ivery time ; 
your daughter has the heart disease. 

Gorg. I believe you are right to say so; but can you tell me how 
this heart disease arises! 

Jerry. Nothin' more aisy, sur. Hippocrates says on the subject, a 
— a great many quare things. 

Gorg. No doubt, no doubt. 

Dea. He was a great man. 

Jerry. Hippocrates says 

Gorg. In what chapter, if you please. 

Jerry. In his chapter on — on hearts. 

Gorg. Very well, continue. 

Jerry. Hippocrates says on the subject a great many quare things ; 
but I am of the opinion, that this disease of the heart arises from various 
irresistible fa vers, which are called pulmonic favers, that is to say — 
fa vers which are pulmonic, and formed from sartin influences, an' cli- 
matic disarrangement, an' polar sensitiveness, arisin' in the regions of 
the disease — {to Gor gibus) do you understand French.^ 

Gor^. Not in the least. 

Jerry, {to the others). Do you ladies an' gintlemen understand 
French.? {Omnes nod negatively^). 

Jerry, {ass'aming various coinical attitudes). Gloria deus sanctissima 
est bonus singularite! Sic semper tyrannus a la mode! E pluribus 
unum St. Patrick! Nux voinica ergot (wzV// ^^'ea/ emphasis). Begorry! 

Gorg. Why didn't I study French.? 

Mrs. B. What a very clever man! 

Dta. Very clever, indeed. 

Anna. How beautiful ! I didn't understand a word of it. 

Susie. I think I feel some better already. 

Jerry, {aside) Aint she adarlin.? {aloud). Now this climatic dis- 
arrangement, an' polar sensitiveness which I tould you about, in passin' 
through the stomach, into the liver which is to the left, and the heart 
which is to the right, and havin' a visible communication wid the brain, 
by means of the windpipe, produce sartin vapors in the lungs — give 
great attention here. 

Gorg. I do, I do. 

Jerry. Which vapors bein' possessed wid sartin pizens — listen sharp 
now — 

Gorg. I am all ears. 

Jerry. Produce these irresistible fevers in the ventricles of the lungs 
and engender this disease of the heart; and that is exactly th^raison she 
is sick, sur. 

Mrs. B. How well the learned doctor explains all. 

Dea. He does indeed, madam. 

Gorg. It is very philosophical argument, no doubt. But there is 
one thing I don't understand clearly, and that is about Uie heart and the 
liver. The heart is to the left and the liver is to the right, is it not so.? 

Jerry. They formerly were ; but we great homoeopathetic doctors 
have changed all that, an' nowadays we practice physic on an intirely 
new plan. 

Mrs. B. How clear he makes everything! 



lO HOMCEOPATHY. 

Susie, {-with a deep sigh). Oh dear ! 

Jerry, {running to her side). What's the matther? — anything ailin 
you, my jewel? — are you sick? 

Susie. Oh! I am dying, I — I know I am. 

Jerry. Howly Saints! don't you do it -don't amuse yourself by 
dyin' until I write you a prescription. Get me a pen an' paper, quick, 
somebody. {Anna gets them). Is there anybody here that knows how to 
write? 

Gorg. Can't you write yourself? 

Jerry. Och ! blazes! I don't recollect now, sure I used to could; 
but I have so many things to remember that I forget half of them — 
misther Gorgibus, your daughter is very sick. I will write her a pre- 
scription and visit her two times ivery day fur the next six months. 

Gorg. You don't say so! You are a wonderful doctor, indeed. 
Come with me to the library, and I will arrange for your pay. 

Jerry, (aside). Am I ashlape, or dramin'? Is he goin' to pay me 
twice over agin I wonder? Bedad! it looks loike it. {aloud). Yes, sur, 
misther Gorgibus, I'm comin' {crosses stage ivhile speaking aside). This 
Ameriky is a dale of a country an' no blarney. {Glances at Susie). 
Aint she a darlin? {Exit Gorgibus L) Now that's what I call a lady, 
yes, sur. Beats o\ild Oireland — ould Nick burn me if she don't. Roses 
an' lilies! {smacks his lips) what cheeks! Tulips an' carnations! {smacks 
lips again) what's a whole jug-full of home made, double distilled, un 
dooty paid mountain dew Avhiskey compared to them lips? {Exit L.) 

Dea. The knowledge and information of some folks is surprisin'. 
How readily the learned physician spoke French, and elucidated this 
heart disease. 

Mrs. B. It is wonderful, indeed, especially those medical terms he 
quoted. But my dear Deacon, wouldn't you like a cup of tea to collect 
your shattered nerves? Come with me. {Rises) 

Dea. {rising). I don't care If I do: my nerves are a little deranged 
{Curtseys to Susie and Anna, and exit R. -with Mrs. Bangs). 

Susie {brightening up). O Anna! 

Anyia. {throiving her head back in chair and laughing). Oh, dear! 

Susie. It is too bad for me to tease papa so. He thinks I am really 
at death's door. 

Anna, {still laughing and holdiiig her sides). That comical Irishman 
is enough to break one's heart. Did he bring you a letter from Charlie! 

Susie, {holding up letter). The dear, good fellow didn't forget me. 
Let us run upstairs, quick, before the folks come in again. {Exeunt Susie 
and Anna eenter door). 

{Reenter Gorgibus L.^follotved by Jerry). 

Gorg. Twenty-five dollars a month, did you say? 

Jerry. Yes, sur, exactly, sur, — seein it's you sur. 

Gorg. Two visits a day ? 

Jerry. Yes, sur; two visits a day an' mind you, kill or cure or no 
pay, for twenty-five dollars a month. 

Gorg. I'll engage you for six months. Here is your first month's 
pay. {Gives money). Come again to-morrow. I must now look after my 
daughter. {Aside). This illness completely disarranges all my plans 
( Exit center door). 



HO M CKO PA T H V. n 

yerry. {looking of ter Gorgibtis). I wonder how that ugly ould sinner 
iver came to have such a party daughter! But faith this Ameriky is a 
dale of a country, an' no blarney. (Crosses sfage and is about to exit R. 
as Anna enters from same side. Jerry sees her and appears confused. 
He hurriedly recrosses stage and stands L.) 
Jerry, (aside). I almost run over her. 

Anjia. (aside)- Here's that Irishman again, 

Jerry, (aside). What'll I say to her? 

Anna, (aside). Now for some fun. I'll captivate him, see if I don't" 

Jerry. The top o' the morning to you, my jewel. I'm the doctor 
an' must give you some medicine. 

Anna. Medicine.'' Fie! I am as well as you are. 

Jerry. So much the worse : this excess of health is apt to be very 
dangerous. I think there wouldn't be no harm in givin' you a little 
medicine. (Approaches her). 

Anna. Do you really think so.? (Smiles coqnettishly). 

Jerry, (bowing profusely). That's my humble opinion, (aside). I 
wonder if she is expectin' me to kiss her.? I'll thry it on anyhow, (aloud) 
My darlin' — 

Anna. Your darlin'.? well, I never — 

Jerry, (moving toward her). My jewel — 

Anna, (stepping back). Your jewel too.? (aside) I'm getting along 
splendidly so far, 

Jerry. Flower of my heart! (tries to p ut his artn around her. Site 
eludes him.^ and crosses to L. of stage. Jerry folloivs). Beautiful witch o' 
the mountain ! Sweet Jersey Lily ! 

Anna, (a little alarmed). Now don't be foolish, sir. 

Jerry. Niver a bit of it. I see you've got a fever ; an' I want to 
take your hand to ascertain the state of your pulse, that's all. 

Anna. Oh! that's all, is it.? well, there's my hand, (holds out her 
hand to him). But mind you, no more sweet words — I don't like taffy. 

Jerry. Oh! niver you fear, (kisses her suddenly) How is that 
jewel .? (she jlushes with anger; and retorts by giving Jerry a vigorous 
slap on tho. mo)ith -which Jars of his hat). 

Anna. You villain! (smiles in spite of herself). Aha! doctor, that 
kiss was a homoeopathic dose, was it ! well, I returned you good for b.id. 
(aside\. I got more this time than I bargained for. (Exit R. quickly). 

Jerry, (dusting his hat). What a quare girl ! Kitty niver acted that 
way. This Ameriky is a dale of a country, and no blarney. (Hears noise 
off R^ Hark! somebody's comin'. I'll he after makin' myself scarce. 
(Ezit hastily through open window L,. C. Scene closes). 

Scene III. — (A Street^ Jerry heard singing off L. Air — "TV/e Limerick 

Glove:') 

"When you go courtin' a neat or dainty lass 
Don't be a sig^hin', or ready to faint; alas ! 
Little she'd i are for such pluckless philandering-. 
And to ould Nick would send you a wandering-. 

But you thief, you rogue, you lyin' cur, 

Have at her like an Irishman, sir." 

(Enter Jerry L., singing). 

"Tip her the wink, take hold of the fist of her, 
Kiss her before she'd have time to sav Christ();)hor. 



J 2 HOMOEOPATHY. 

She may cry out you're an impudent fellow, sir, 

But her eyes will unsay what her tongue it may tell you sir. 

Oh! you thief, you rogue, you lyin' cur. 

You're a divil of a chap, you Irishman, sir." 

Give her another, or rather a score of 'em. 
Still you will find her ready for more of ''em. 
Press her, caress her, my dear, like a stylish man; 
For that is the way to court like an Irishman. 

(speaks). Och ! sure, I'll niver forgit oulcl Oireland, an' the happy days 
whin I used to thrash the boys an' kiss the girls — what a divil of a fel- 
low I was fur the girls anyhow — I can't help but think of it. But faith, 
it's all over wid now, an' I'm a homoeopath-etic doctor with twenty dol- 
lars a month from my master, an' twenty-five dollars from the gjirl's 
father. If my darlin' Kitty was only here now, my happiness would be 
complate. Bedad! I'll buy her a transportation ticket across the say 
whin my master pays me for doctorin' his sweetheart. That's what I'll 
do. {stving-s hat). Hurrah for St. Patrick! Down wid John Bull! E 
pluribus unvim! Ould Oireland foriver! whoo! 

Adol. {calling outside). Doctor ! doctor ! 

Jerry. Hark! somebody is callin'. 

Adol. {still outside). Conglomerate my cerebellum ! 

Jerry. Go along wid your Sarah Bellum ! 

{Enter Adolphus^ R.). 

Adol. Are you the doctor ? 

Jerry. Yis sur; — exactly, sur — that's my name, sur 

Adol. My wife is at death's door. 

Jerry. I'm very glad to hear it, sur. 

Adol. I want you to come and give her some medicine. Oh, my 
dear Sarah Jane ! - 

Jerry. What's ailin' her.? 

Adol. Oh! she is very ill; I fear she is dying. 

Jerry. Hovvly saints, man, hasten back as fasht as your legs can 
carry you, an' tell her not to die till she has a prescription from the doctor 
— and I'll be around next week sometoime. 

Adol. I'll do it; thank you, doctor. Good morning, sir. {goes). 
Oh, my dear Sarah Jane ! conglomerate my ecstatic cerebellum ! {exit R.) 

Jerry. Ha! ha! ha! if that fellow's Sarah Bellum dies, it will all 
be owin' to this humbug of a doctor. 

{Enter Charles^ L.). 

Chas. Well Jerry, you seem to be in good humor. 

Jerry. Wid lots o' money in my pocket, an' all the doctorin' I can 
do, how can I be otherwise.-* 

Chas. Ha! ha! But never mind that now; I've another job on hand 
for you. 

Jerry. Faith, I'm the one for you, just tell me what you want an' 
I'll do it, or blow up the whole town. 

Chas. It will not require such extreme measures, I think. But 
listen to me. In the first place, you know Miss Gorgibus is very pretty — 

Jerry. Aint she a darlin', though I 



HOMOEOPATH V 



13 



Chas. And in the second place 

Jerry. You are head over heels in love wid her. 

Chas. Yes. 

Jerry. An' in the third place, you want to marry her. 

Chas. Exactly ; but you see that so long as her father keeps her 
penned up, and won't allow her to get out of his sight, I can't do so. 
Now, Jerry, if you could manage to get Susie out of the house 

Jerry., {hesitating). That's a dilicate job. 

Chas. But I could make it worth your trouble. 

Jerry. I hate dreadfully to be elopin' wid young girls. You see, 
Kitty moight find it out an' thin there'd be the divil to pay. But I'll tell 
you what I will do. I'll git the ould man out of the house, an' thin you 
can come after the girl j^ourself. 

Chas. That will do splendidly. Now you manage to get old Gorgi- 
bus out of the way for half an hour, and 1 will give you fifty dollars. 

Jerry. Fifty dollars, did you say ! I'll do it, sur. Come along wid 
me, an' I'll make you the happiest man in town. Bedad ! I'll send the 
ould fellow on a wild goose chase while you bolt the moon wid his 
daughter. Ha! ha! ha! This Ameriky is a dale of a country and no 
blarney. {Exeunt both ^R.). 

Scene IV same as Scene II. Discovered Jerry looking ont of Tuindow L. C. 

Jerry. Ha! ha! ha! That beats ould Oireland all to blazes. Ha! 
ha ! ha ! How beautifully I fooled the ould fellow ! Tould him that the 
town hall was afire. Ha! ha! ha! And said he had better hasten to the 
spot at once if he wanted the pleasure of seein' it burn down. Ha! ha! 
ha! Didn't he skedaddle though! Ha! ha! ha! Picked up a bucket of 
water, an' away he went loike a steam whistle. Ha! ha! ha! This 
Ameriky is a dale of a country an' no blarney. Ha! ha! ha! I'll go out- 
side an' watch the fun. Won't there be a beautiful shindy whin ould 
Gorgibus gits back ! Ha! ha! hal (exit I^.). 

{Enter Sicsie, R.) 

Susie. What is all this excitement about, I wonder.? There is the 
old Deacon {looking out of ivindovS) running down the road as fast as he 
can, and papa following him with a bucket of water — I do hope nothing 
aerious has happened. ' 

{E7itcr Charles^ L.). 

Susie. Oh, Charles ! {claps her hands^ and runs to hitn). 

Chas. My dear Susie ! {kisses her). 

Susie. How did you get into the house.'' 

Chas. By sending your father on a "Fool's Errand." Come, let us 

be off and be married : I have everything arranged. 

Susie. Oh, Charles ! 

Chas. Quick, Susie, we haven't a moment to lose. 

Susie. All right; I'll go. But I must get ready first. 

Chas. Oh! don't bother; you're looking well enough as you are, 

Susie. Am I really,? honor bright.? 

Chas. And shining, of course you are, my dear little angel, {kisses 



14 HOMCEOPATHY. 

Susie. Well, wait just a second ; I'll run and get my wraps. 

Chas. You won't need any wraps either; it's quite warm. 

Susie. And I haven't my boots on. 

Chas. Never mind ; slippers are good enough. 

Susie. But I must have my hat. 

Clias. Come, we will hunt your hat after we are married. 

Susie. I wonder where my gloves are? 

(jEnfer Anna /?., ivith ivrafs. She puts thetn on Susie). 

Anna. There. Now, you dear creatures, be off; you haven't a 
minute to lose. {Exeunt omnes^ L.). 

(^Enter Mrs. Bangs., /?,). 

Mrs. B. Why, I can't see anything of the fire — I do wish the gentle- 
men would return. This suspense is unendurable. Oh, what misery t 
why can't I faint! why can't I faint! 

{Enter Gor gibus /?., carrying a bucket., Jolloived by the Deacon ivho lias lost 

his hat). 

Gorg. Oh, the villain! 

Dea. Yes, the villain! 

Gorg. I'll have him hung. 

Dea. So will I. 

Mrs. B. My dear Mr. Gorgibus, y6u frighten me; what new dis* 
aster has befallen us, pray tell .? 

Gorg. Oh ! that abominable doctor ! he has played a trick on us. 

Dea. A most outrageous trick. 

Gorg. {calling). Susie! Susie! where is my daughter.? Fetch her 
here at once ; I have something of the greatest importance to communi- 
cate. 

Mrs. B. I will bring her to you at ouce. {exit Mrs. B.., B.). 

Gorg. Be seated, my dear Deacon, {they sit R. and L.). Let us 
ponder over our philosophical pursuits a few minutes, and try to forget 
the terrible outrage that has been committed on us. What is your 
opinion concerning the ''Sublime and Beautiful " ? 

Dea. {coug-Jis). The "Sublime and Beautiful" is — {coughs) that is, it 
is — and I am very positive about it — 

Gorg. Of course. 

Dea. And I speak without hesitation — 

Gorg. To be sure. 

Dea. And without fear of contradiction — 

Gorg. Certainly, certainly. 

Dea. That it is a very difficult subject to explain 

{Reenter Mrs. Bangs., B.) 

Mrs. B. Oh horrors! 

Gorg. Horrors, my dear.? 

Mrs. B. Oh ! yes, much worse than that Susie is not in her room 
and I can not find her anywhere in the house. 

Gorg. Not in her room.? Not in the house.? I declare I am sur- 
rounded with thieves and robbers. {Jerry aj>pears at nvindaw^ Gorgibus 



HOMCEOPATHY. 



^5 



sees him). You abominable doctor! You execrable heathen! You 
sacrilegious monster and destroyer of my happiness! what have you 
done with my daughter? 

yerry. {at -whidovj) Your daughter? Ha! ha! ha! why bless my 
stars! she has gone off wid misther Charles to be married. 

Gorg. To be married ! It's false, I say it's false ! 

Jerry. Bedad ! It's true enough for here they come. {Disappears 
from 7vt7idow). 

Gorg. I'll have them arrested — I'll call out the milita. Monstrous 
calamity! 

Dea. Monstrous calamity, indeed. 

{Reenter Charles and Susie Z,., followed by Anna and Jerry). 

Gorg. Daughter, what meaneth all this disturbance of the peace? 

Amta. {coming forward). Uncle, let me explain, A good old minis- 
ter across the way consented to say a few words for them, and now they 
are man and wife. 

Gorg. Is this true, my daughter? 

Susie. Yes, papa, it is true. I hope you will forgive me for being 
so wicked. Here is my husband; won't you congratulate us? {They 
come fortvard). 

Gorg. {aside) A remarkably fine looking couple it must be ad- 
mitted, {aloud). Since it can't be helped now, and seeing yon are all so 
well satisfied, I may as well rejoice and be happy too. Yes, my dear 
children, I congratulate you from my heart. 

Jerry. This Amerikv is a dale of a country and no blarney. 

Gorg. You abominable doctor! 

Jerry. Och! don't you worry about me; ju&t forgive me this time 
an* I'll niver do it again. 

Susie. Yes, papa, forgive him; I am sure he meant all for the best. 

Anna. And he is such a splendid doctor. 

Jerry, {oside) Ain't she a darlin though? 

Dea. I do not understand. 

Gorg. My dear Deacon, I would advise you to seek elsewhere for 
a wife. 

Anna. Yes, Mr. Silvergrab, and let me give you a little friendly 
advice, when next you make up your mind to embark in the matrimonial 
schooner, be sure your intended bride is something near your own age, 
and not young enough to be your grand daughter. If you follow 
this rule, you will find the course of love not half so thorny as you did 
in this case. 

Gorg. That's true philosophy. 

Dea. I understand. {Exit L.) 

Jerry. An' now my friends, since this doctorin' business has turned 
out so well, I have made up my mind to hang out my shingle as a doc- 
tor of physic; an' ladies an' gintlemen, hoping you have all been well 
satisfied wid my cures, I invite you to give me an early call. Remember 
I practice HOMoeoPATHY, the great family cure for all diseases of the 
brain, liver, stomach, and especially the heart disease. 
DISPOSITION OF CHARACTERS. 
L. C. R. 

Gorg, and Mrs, B. Jerry and Anna. Susie and Chas. 



NOTHING BETTER 



THAN THE 

sc:e2,-^e=-soo:s 



RECITATION SERIES. 

PRICE POST- PAID, PAPER, 25c. 

" The selections are fresh, pure, and eleva.ting.''''— Missouri Teacher. 
CONTENTS OF No. 2. 

Albert Drecker, Pathetic Thomas J. Hyatt g 

Better in the Morning, Pathetic Bev. Leander S. Coan « 

Blue Sky Somewhere Vera 8 

Wounded, Battle Poem J. W. Watson 1? 

Papa's Letter, Pathetic 14 

Grandfather's Reverie, Pathetic Theodore Parker 16 

The Old Village Choir Beiij. F. Taylor 18 

At the Party Elizabeth Stuart Phelps 19 

Romance at Home, Humorous Fanny Fern 21 

The Legend of the Organ Builder Harper's Magazine 23 

I Vaeh So Glad I Vash Here, very Humorous 35 

Her Dog und der Lobster, Humorous Saul Sertrew 26 

What Was His Creed?... 28 

Dedication of Gettysburg Cemetery Abraham Lincoln 29 

Time Turns the Table, Excellent 30 

The Man Who Hadn't Any Objection, Humorous 32 

The Soldier's Mother, Sentimental 38 

" De Pervisione, Josiar." Humorous 34 

A Response to Beautiful Snow, Sentimental Sallie J. Hancock 85 

The Defence of Lucknow, Heroic Tennyson 36 

A Model Discourse, Humorous 41 

My Darling's Shoes 48 

The Volunteer Soldiers of the Union Robert O. Ingersoll 44 

Life, Compilation Mrs. H. A. Darning 46 

The Old-Fashioned Mother 47 

De 'Sperience ob de Reb "rend Quacko Strong-, Humorous 48 

A Heart to Let 5Q 

Jimmy Butler and the Owl, Humorous Anonymous 51 

Presentiments, Pathetic T. S. Denison 54 

Eloquence or Oratory 56 

Raising the Flag at Sumter Henry Ward Beecher 57 

Parrhasius and the Captive N. P. Willis 59 

Portent Celia Thaxter 63 

He Wasn't Ready, Humorous 63 

The Old Clock in the Corner Eugene J. Hall 64 

An Illustration, Fine Description Bev. Philip Krohn, D. D. 66 

The Seven Stages Anonymous 68 

The Bells of Shaudon Francis Mahony 69 

Circumlocution on The House that Jack Built, Fine 71 

The Brakeman goes to Church, Humorous Burdette 78 

Address to Class of '77, Knox College President Bateman 76 

Bay Billy, Battle Incident Frank H. Gassaway 7B 

The Flood and the Ark, Humorous Darkey Sermon 82 

The Steamboat Race Mark Twain 85 

Battle of Gettysburg Chas. F. Ward 99 

A Connubial Eclogue, Humorous J. Q. Saxe 93 

The Chambered Nautilus Oli'ver W. Holmes 95 

Ascent of Fu-si-Yama Dora Scnoonmaker Soper 96 

The Musician's Tale, Splendid Sea Tale Longfellow 98 

Vera Victoria H. M. Soper 104 

Ruining the Minister's PaiTot, very Fanny 106 

'Wie Irish PMlosopher, Humorous , 10* 



THE ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. 

Price, ij cts. each, poil-paid. 

Thest plays are all short, and very funny. Nothing poor in the list. They 
Serve admirably to give variety to a prograinine. The female characters may be 
assumed by males in most cases. Where something thoroughly comical, but 
unobjectionable is wanted, they are just the thing. 

STAGE STRUCK DARKT. 

A very funny "take-off" on tragedy; 2 male, i female. Time 10 minutes. 
STOCKS UP— STOCKS DOWN. 

2 males; a played-out author and his sympathizing friend; very funny and full 
of " business " and practical jokes. Time 10 minutes. 

DEAF— IN A HORN. 

2 males; negro musician and a deaf pupil. A very interesting question sudden- 
ly enables the latter to hear. ?\ill of first-class *' business." Tiaie S minutes. 

HANDY ANDY. 

3 males; master and servant. The old man is petulant and the servant makes 
all sorts of ludicrous mistakes and misunderstands every order. Very lively in 
action. Time 10 minutes. 

THE MISCHIEVOUS NIGGER. 

A farce; 4 males, 2 females. Characters: The mischievous nigger, old man, 
French barber, Irishman, widow, nurse. Time 20 minutes. 

THE SHAM DOCTOR. 

A negro farce; 4 males, 2 females. This is a tip-top farce. The "sham doctor" 
ran not fail to bringdown the house. Time 15 minutes. 

NO CURE, NO PAY. 

3 males, i female. Doctor Ipecac has a theory that excessive terror will cure 
people who are deaf and dumb. His daughter's lover is mistaken for the patient 
to the terror of all. Only one darky. A capital little piece for schools or parlor. 
Time 10 minutes. 

TRICKS. 

5 males, 2 females. (Only two darkys, i male, i female.) A designing old 
step-father wishes to marry his step-daughter for her money. She and her lover 
plan an elopement. The old man discovers it and has an ingenious counter-plot — 
which fails completely, to his discomfiture. Time 10 minutes. Suited to parlor 
performance. 

HAUNTED HOUSE. 

2 males. A white- washer encounters "spirits" in a house he has agreed to 
white-wash. Plenty of business. Time 8 minutes. 

THE TWO POMPEYS. 

4 males. A challenge to a duel is worked up in a very funny way. Time 
8 minutes. 

AN UNHAPPY PAIR. 

^ males, and males for a band. Two hungry niggers strike the musician^" 
for a square meal. Good for school or parlor, and very funny. Time 10 minutes. 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 



Any Play on this List 15 Cts. Postpi 



Plays by T. S. DENISON. 

ODDS WITH THE ENEMY. 

A drama in five acts ; 7 innle and 4 fe- 
male characters. Time, 2 hours. 

SETH GREENBACK. 

A drama in four acts; 7 male and 3 fe- 
male. Time, I hour 15 m. 

INITIATING A GRANGER. 

A ludicrous farce ; S male. Time, 25 m. 

TWO GHOSTS IN WHITE. 

A humorous farce based on boarding- - 
school life ; 7 female characters. Tmie, 

^^ " ' THE ASSESSOR. 

A humorous sketch; 3 male and 2 fe- 
male. Time, 15 m. 

BORROWING TROUBLE. 
A ludicrous farce; 3 male and 5 fe- 
male. Time, 30 m. 

COUNTRY JUSTICE. 
A very am.using- country law suit; S 
male characters. (May admit 14.) Time, 



THE PULL-BACK. 

A laug-hable farce; 6 female. 



Til 



HANS VON SMASH. 

A roaring- farce in a prolog-ue and one 
act; 4 male and 3 female. Time, 30 m. 

OUR COUNTRY. 

A patriotic drama in three parts. Re- 
quires 9 male, 3 female, (Admits 9 male 
It; female.) Four fine tableaux. Time, 
about I hour. 

THE SCHOOL MA'AM. 

A. briliant comedy in four acts; 6 male, 
S female. Time, i hour 45 u.in. 

THE IRISH LINEN PEDDLER. 

A lively farce; 3 male, 3 female. Time, 
45 m- 

THE KANSAS IMMIGRANTS; Or, the 
Great Exodus. 

A roaring- farce; 5 male, i female. 
Time, 30 m. 

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING, 

A splendid farce; 3 male, 6 female. 
Time, 45 m. 

IS THE EDITOR IN? 

A farce; 4 male and 2 female. 

AN ONLY DAUGHTER. 

A drama in three acts; 5 male and 2 
female. Time, i hour 15 m. 

PETS OF SOCIETY. 

A farce in hig-h life; 7 females. Time, 
30 m. 




016 103 330 



A very 
male, 2 fe 



LOUVA, THE PAUPER. 

A drama in five acts; 9 male and 4 fe- 
male characters. Time, i hour 45 m. 

UNDER THE LAURELS. 

A draiiia in five acts; a stirring- plaj-, 
fulJy equal to Louva the Pauper. Five 
male, 4 female. Time, i hour 45 m. 

THE SPARKLING CUP. 

A temperance drama in five acts; iz 
male and .| female. 



Plays by H. Ellio tt McBride. 

ON THE BRINK. 

A temperance drama in two acts; 12 
male, 3 female. Time, 1 hour 45 in. 

A BAD JOB. 

A farce; 3 male, 2 female. Tune, 30 m. 

PLAYED AND LOST. 

A sketch; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 
20 m. 

MY JEREMIAH. 

A farce; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 25 nr 

LUCY'S OLD MAN. 

A sketch; 2 male, 3 female. Time, 20 
m. 
THE COW THAT KICKED CHICAGO. 

A farce; 3 male, 2 female. Time, 25 in. 

I'LL STAY AWHILE. 

A farce; 4 male. Time, 25 m. 



THE FRIDAY AFTERNSON DIALOGUES, 

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FRIDAY AFTERNOON SPEAKER' 

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SCRAP BOOK READINGS, 

Latest and best pieces, — Price per No. 
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WORK AND PLAY. 

BY MARY J. J ACCRUES. 

A gem for the little folks. This is a 
book of both instruction and amusement. 
Part I consists of a large variety of very 
easy progressive exercises in letters, 
numbers, objects, geography, language, 
animated nature, motion, songs, etc. 
Part II consists of dialogues, charades, 
pantomimes, etc. all original.— Price, 
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